I may have mentioned the extraordinary collision of work and obligations that characterizes this month and much of the next, so yes: suffer the bleat will. It will suffer greatly. But I always want to provide a daily reward, scant though it may be, so some cylinders will fire here the rest of the week, culminating in the Halloween Diner on Friday. The usual site updates are suspended after today's Richie Rich so I can bank the content for the future.



Notes on the ongoing Pumpkinification of Everything:

No more pleased about it than yesterday's M&M. This isn't who he is. It just isn't. The fat suit is insulting. The pointy head - lemme ask you, pal, if you're a dark chocolate, you want to be made up like the white stuff with a dunce cap? Didn't think so.

White chocolate and candy corn are not coincident concepts.





And now, a special Halloween edition of . . .


What's the difference?

Please don't say "well, one is corn, which the Indians called Maize, and the other is a Pumpkin, which the Indians called "Plant-with-Intestines." But taste-wise, is there a difference? What ineffable quality distinguishes the corn from the Mellocreme? Is the latter naught but sugar? You can find out of you wish, since the Mellocreme Pumpkins are still made and sold under the same venerable name.

Oh, okay, I'll spill the beans. Wikipedia, of course, has an entry on the things.

Traditionally colored with an orange base and topped with a green stem to make candy pumpkins largely identifiable with Halloween, a candy pumpkin is considered a mellow creme by confectioners since the candy has a marshmallow flavor.

Not a Mallowcreme, then? Okay.

Some say that a candy pumpkin tastes exactly like candy corn, while others say that it is better or worse than candy corn.[citation needed]

Oh, give it up

Obviously, we're all Brachs today. Something uncomfortably lubricant-related about this name.

"Boxes for Trick or Treat" was the unwieldy name they had before they invented "Fun Size," which of course speaks for itself.

Jube Jels were not, I suspect, Gummi in their ability to yield to the tooth. They fought the tooth and gave up nothing in the battle and ended up like a hard wad of gum that couldn't be broken down any more.

I was surprised to see Brach's most famous confection wasn't in the list. Those were the small caramel cylinders that had flavors inside, like Maple (Yum) or Orange (Grandma, why) or Vanilla. These were purchased in bulk at the Brach's stand at the Five-and-Dime, and while we may lament their diminished role in the nation's candy options, we're much better off today. So many choices, with such high qualit


Huck Finns, because they were going for that old-time American virtue idea. Honest treats that brought to mind simpler times, rafting, and running away with a slave, thereby risking the death penalty.

They didn't taste like Peanut Butter at all.

"So we have a confirmation that the ink isn't toxic?"

"Yes. Well, not a confirmation per se, R. B., but the eggheads in the lab say it's safe."

"Who are these eggheads?"

"Couple of the boys down in accounting. They've been eating them for a month and they feel fine."

"Put them out, then. And next year give me something besides pumpkins and owls, for God's sake. Not even a moon? Anyone think of a moon?"

"Moons next year, R. B, you got it."


The timeless perfection of a Milk-Maid Caramel has never been equalled. Even when the wrapping was a bit too crackly, which told you it had been sitting around for a while.

A jingle is the best way to tell people how to pronounce your name.

Finally, a treat for the kiddies:

I wonder if they swapped out one of the franks for a frank-shaped whistle. Probably not. Wonder if they ever thought they should give a little more attention to product design, particularly all the wasted space around the logo and the odd placement of "vacuum packed."

Obviously not.

See you around - no work blog, but Tumblr might be firing if I remember to stuff the queue. See you were tomorrow!




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