Back in the freezer. Four below, which really makes me wish I'd worn a hat to work. But then I walk around with my hair looking like Yahoo Serious, and besides: we have skyways. We also have the nagging suspicion that I mentioned Yahoo Serious in the same context, and that's the extent of which anyone has thought of him in years.

Nothing to report today. Nothing! Nothing happened! I got up. I made eggs. I wrote things. Went to the office; talked; wrote. Went home and napped. Picked up daughter, then went to the grocery store for salad and bread. I made dinner - pesto chicken - and then joked around with daughter for an hour or so. Read the bid for bathroom repair. Wept. And now here we are. That's it; too cold to care about anything, and in between big chunks of work.

So let's get to the rest of the nothing! There's lots of it.

Here's a taste of a future site. It's going to be tremendous.

 

The picture above is the Future - today! This 1962 issue of Chain Store Age is devoted to the hot new idea called Vending, where people their meals out of machines. (Like the Automat, invented in 1897.) The crazy abstract coffee thing can be seen in real life:

 

 

That's the Rayteon Radarange up there. It gives off radar energy! Or so Popular Science said. You bought the food in the machines and put it in another machine and pushed a button. But - but what if you only had folding money?

 

Change your money while ruminative coffee drinkers hang around in the background!

Why wouldn't you want this? Why could you possibly prefer going to some place with the appetizing smell of the sizzling grill and have your food made fresh?

It failed. But more on that some day when the site comes out.

 

Tiny pictures from a record album sleeve, blown waaaay up. Ooh; la. La:

I'm starting to think Reprise had Neal on speed-dial, or perhaps a retainer. Here wikipedia puts the complete lie to this entire feature I've been running for three weeks: the album was recorded in 1962, so the "Reprise 1962" banner was wrong, wrong, wrong.

It was preceeded by "Cha Cha de Amor," cashing in on that craze, and was followed by "Dino Latino" in 1963. That didn't last long:

Martin, like Elvis, was influenced by country music. By 1965, some of Martin's albums, such as Dean "Tex" Martin, were composed of country and western songs by artists such as Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard and Buck Owens. Martin hosted country performers on his TV show and was named "Man Of the Year" by the Country Music Association in 1966.

For my generation he was the grinning, lazy, supposedly drunk guy on TV, wearing a ruffled shirt and introducing one outdated act afer the other. I love this line in his wiki bio: "Despite Martin's reputation as a drinker – perpetuated via his vanity license plate 'DRUNKY' – he masked his self-discipline." That is one way to perpetuate a rep, yes.

I don't know how many people in my generation give him much thought, but those who looked back honestly had to admit: he was effortless great at everything he did.

 

We're still in the Thirties, for reasons I don't remember, except that I had lots of stuff from the Thirties. As usual, we begin with color. And it's a color ad about color:

Good ol' Jam Handy, purveyors of industrial films of wildly varying promotional films. This caught my eye:

Mm-mmm! Frosty butane!

I don't believe this stuff existed. The film was for Owens-Corning, and probably didn't want to use a real product. That would detract from their own message.

By the time this was made, they'd been turning out Zippos for many years. It seems an odd choice.

In the future - say, the distant early Fifties - clothing will stretch! Actually, no - the fabrics of tomorrow can be seen today at the Fair, which is . . . a brave new world in the making.

Lastex, the miracle yarn. The core was latex, with cotton and/or rayon wrapped around it. You could find Lastex at the Apparel & Accessories Building. The original design was quite impressive. As was this model. The end result was this, which I've never noticed before. A brave new world indeed.

 

Oh, everyone will love you when you try to sell this magazine and say their kids will enjoy it. All your friends will just love you.

Olive Reid? All of read? Tthe editor was Bosco Cass, which is the greatest 30s name ever.

I've often found myself short of a good Blonde Fade, regardless of the time:

You have to love the assumption: everyone knows that blondes fade early. But must it be so?

If I were blonde, I'd be more worried about Split-Face Syndrome.

I'm just going to put this in and make you wonder about the context.

I can't find the original, so I don't know why she's ashamed, or what the facts are. I'm certain that the "facts" were probably described with a wide array of euphemisms.

This one, well, we know what's going on:

SHE ATE FACE POWDER. The solution here is simple: DON'T EAT FACE POWDER.

"Junket" is always used in quotes. It was a popular product, so you could ask the grocer for Junket Rennet and he'd know precisely what you meant.

Let's have a cartoon to explain that people might like pudding.

Well, cut my corns.

Ouch.

 

Maple custard. Why can't I go to the store right now and buy Maple Custard? Buckets of maple custard please. Buckets.

 

 

Wish me luck; might get up to four above today. Cold as empty dead outer space!

Speaking of which . . . I redesigned the main page for the sci-fi covers section, because I wasn't happy with it. Now I am. For a while.

 

 

 
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