Got new glasses; huzzah. I can see much better now. Or rather “I can see clearly now” sung in a nasal fashion by . . . who? Jose Feliciano? No; Johnny Nash. According to Wikipedia, it was a number one, preceded by “My Ding-a-Ling,” Chuck Berry’s only #1, and “Papa was a Rolling Stone” by the Temptations, thereby showcasing three different styles of African-American pop music.

Bonus fun fact: the official lyrics for “Papa” include the words dad gumma it, which is not the usual spelling. Dadgummit, is how it ought to go. I assume that’s a kind version of God-dammit, or I’ll eat my money-hustard pork roll.

By the way, the man who wrote “My Ding-a-Ling” is 99 and still alive. Johnny Nash, too. And my glasses have a better prescription, so I can see clearly now. Absolutely no one at home noticed that I have new glasses, until I pointed them out by tilting my head and pushing my face forward and saying WELL? WELL?

Oh you got new glasses.

AND?

They’re nice!

Grumph

Okay, the weekly (mostly) Diner airs tomorrow, because I want to lard up a scant Bleat. As I said, this week's shy of the usual heft. All will be revealed on Friday. In fact there's no Bleat tomorrow.

We're currently having a small amout of fun with Batman.

Robin was driving away with the Neutralizer, the device that Neutralized the Wizard’s Remote Controls. One of the henches sent him up the bomb, and Robin decides “you know, using the wheel to control a vehicle is so banal. So ordinary.”

Now leap away, leap away, leap away Robin!

The henches pull up and say “hope the Neutralizer wasn’t damaged,” which you’d think would have been played into their calculations before they targeted it for aerial bombardment. But ho ho, it’s an empty box! Because it was all a ruse.

Commissioner Gordon calls up Professor Doctor Wheelchair, and asks him to drop by the office to consult “on a scientific matter.” But Prof. Wheelchair knows he’s trying to wheedle out information about his Neutralizer, a device he built to foil the Wizard. Except of course we know he is the Wizard. So . . . .

Oh, I don’t know. I lost the thread on that one. Anyway, Vicky Vale shows up at Prof. Wheelchair’s house, just as the villain’s long-suffering servant - verbally abused at every turn - takes out the Neutralizer to drive it to the Research Council. The henches show up and steal it. This is all quite confusing, but at least Batman and Robin suddenly show up so we can have some fine Robin-punching and noggin-knocking:

This . . . this makes no sense.

So the object they were supposed to steal is right there, and they leave it?

Turns out the box - is EMPTY! Just like the other box! Carter, the long-suffering servant, said the box was too light anyway, there couldn’t have been anything in it. Prof. Wheelchair says the seal is broken, but it’s a counterfeit seal!

No one, including the audience, knows what the hell is going on.

Ahhh. Turns out they swapped the box! So now the Wizard has the Neutralizer!

BUT HE INVENTED IT

Here’s the Neutralizer. We probably only see the back because it’s probably a big radio.

Then the Wizard shows how the Neutralizer also defeats his other invention, the DISINTEGRATOR RAY.

You know, if he had one of those, you’d think it would have been mentioned before. Or maybe USED before. But get this: the combination of the Disintegrator Ray and the Neutralizer turns the Wizard INVISIBLE.

So he has remote controls, death rays, and invisibility. Time to unleash a campaign whose baffling stealth confounds everyone! They’ll never know what he’s up to!

Unless he’s a big fat egomaniacal blabbermouth:

Then it’s back to Barry Brown:

He’s the radio guy who always seems to know stuff, and he says the Wizard told him to say he would appear at the Research Council at 3 PM, and he defied anyone - even Batman and Robin! - to stop him. Commissioner Gordon hears the report - because top cops always sit around listening to the radio to get clues - and throws up the Bat signal.

Well, turns out there’s a Super Jet-Plane at the facility, and the Wizard might be trying to steal the plans. Man, they’re really just pitchforking everything into this one. Now the Wizard is invisible, and goes to The Facility at 3 for nefariousness.

Batman decides to lock himself in the vault where the plans are kept. Robin stays behind to keep careful watch:

The Invisible Wizard picks up a box labeled thus:

Because that’s always sitting around the plant manager’s office.

And so:

See, I told you this week would be short.