I made a trip to the grocery store tonight just because I wanted to drive fast on the first warm twilight of the year. It’s one of my favorite things to do - hit the right tune, punch it, hit the curve where 62 blends into 35W, slide across three lanes to the exit. First time with this car, and I wanted to see how she handled when making quick and purposeful lane changes. Quite well. The music was “Dresden” by OMD, one of their latter albums, with a dry bass line mixed up front that sounded as if it could’ve come from their first album, so many years ago. I bought it one a whim because the name sounded as if they would be clever moderns who were on the vanguard of British synth music. They spelled Maneuvers in the English fashion! I loved them already.

At the grocery store, another sign of summer: glorious American piles of excess salt and sugar.

I may disagree with your choices and quantities, but I will defend to the death your right to enjoy it.

When I got home I put away the grocery purchases and got on the treadmill. It whirred and whined and said:

E4

This thing is 20 years old. God knows where the manual is. Like it’d be in the basement cupboard over there. Oh hello, it’s in the basement cupboard, right there. I was advised to enter ENGINEER MODE and recalibrate, but there were no instructions on how to do that on the E4 page, so I googled. Got a video in which a guy in New Zealand was entering ENGINEER MODE, and he mumbled about which keys had to be depressed, and kept the camera so close to the control panel I couldn’t tell what he was doing. DUDE. Finally found another page that gave the instructions, but they were covered up by a chatbot box.

Looks like you’re having trouble with your TF 9560! What seems to be the problem?

The problem is that you’re covering up all the text on the page that explains how to solve the problem with my TF 9650.

I got it fixed and did my run and earned my Tuesday gelato. Which sounds like the name of a Bond heroine.

Curious why internet writing has gone to krep? I’ll tell you. The fact that internet writing has gone to krep is known to all. Many people who are on the internet reading, or perhaps skimming, have suspected for a long time that krep is, in fact, what they are consuming. It’s a major problem.

The aforementioned reason may come as a surprise to some, but many are saying it’s a common problem. Attempts to learn exactly why, though, are stymied by one important and shocking fact: aside from being krep, a lot of the internet writing is bad, which contributes to the overall impression, as noted.

Let us look at Screengeek:

Television fans have lost yet another critically acclaimed series. This time CBS decided to cancel the aforementioned series after airing only one season on their network. In fact, the show’s one and only season has yet to even finish airing its eighteen episodes.

See, I was doing a parody! What’s the aforementioned series? It wasn’t mentioned. Second Graf:

The season – and thus series – finale of the ill-fated CBS series will premiere later this month. It’s a disappointing fate for the series which first premiered in October 2024, but as shared in a new report, it’s yet another result of a competitive market.

AI has more self-respect than this.

The series was canceled alongside one other CBS show to make room for two other series greenlit by the network.

Both shows were quietly ushered out to clear the ever-crowded primetime slate and make way for two shiny new series recently greenlit by the network, which, in true TV fashion, promised fresh energy and potentially higher ratings.

For those unfamiliar, the critically acclaimed series that will now conclude with one season is actually a sitcom. Here’s what Variety shared on that front:

The proper lede for this story should be “‘Poppa’s House,’ a comedy created by and starring Damon Wayans Sr. And Keven Hench, has been cancelled.”

But no. Here’s the Variety quote:

“‘Poppa’s House‘ was created by [Damon] Wayans Sr. and Kevin Hench, and starred the real-life father-son duo as father and son, alongside Essence Atkins and Tetona Jackson.”

After this quote, the junk site says:

Other recurring cast members for Poppa’s House created by Damon Wayans Sr. and Kevin Hench included Geoffrey Owens, Caleb Johnson, River Blossom, and Wendy Raquel Robinson.

Ready for some deep research and history?

The history of this critically-acclaimed sitcom series can be traced back to 2022. It was then that the series was announced, with a pilot being ordered a year later in 2023. Due to the strike in 2023, the series was then moved to the 2024-2025 season. Obviously the series had been moving against the odds even when it was first being produced. At the very least, however, fans can still enjoy the eighteen episodes that the first season consists of.

I’m sure the metrics show that people were on the page X seconds and scrolled down, indicating Engagement. No one who read it could've enjoyed it, or found in the information related in a vivacious manner. It's the brainless babble of dead internet.

It’s 1904. Whoa. I have set myself up for some grim entries here, because I just grabbed at random, hoping the extensive and dense pages would yield some interesting items. I was incorrect. Let’s see what the mailbag brought in from Odell. A ton of hay seems like a lot of hay. Next edition, he’s carried off by lockjaw. I can’t find Belmont.       Hold on, here’s something. News of the world.     Many briefs about the Russians at Port Arthur, an event that did not go well for them. The Battle of Port Arthur of 8–9 February 1904 marked the commencement of the Russo-Japanese War. It began with a surprise night attack by a squadron of Japanese destroyers on the neutral Russian fleet anchored at Port Arthur, Manchuria, and continued with an engagement the following morning; further skirmishing off Port Arthur would continue until May 1904. The attack ended inconclusively, though the war resulted in a decisive Japanese victory. They went all the way around the world to lose.       Sports writing of 1904. There’s something timeless about all that.     You don’t hear a lot about the Chunchuses these days. According to this page from a contemporary magazine, they were brought along to entertain the Russian troops. I suppose depending on your source of information, you’d have different opinions about the fellows.       Randy talk, and I’m surprised the Rev didn’t drop round to scold them for this. DUDE IS STRAIGHT UP SEEING SOME RAW TOES RAW AN' ALL     Back in the days when “A Commission” actually got something done: Wikipedia: The Isthmian Canal Commission (often known as the ICC) was an American administration commission set up to oversee the construction of the Panama Canal in the early years of American involvement. Established on February 26, 1904, it was given control of the Panama Canal Zone over which the United States exercised sovereignty.[1] The commission reported directly to Secretary of War William Taft. It was initially composed of seven members, appointed by President Theodore Roosevelt, directed to avoid the inefficiency and corruption that had plagued the French 15 years earlier. The wikipedia account doesn’t mention any of these guys.       I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear they got that all settled out, legally and logistically.     We leave with you with this new phrase from the old times: “Bib and tucker.” You can figure it out easily, can’t you? That'll do. Back to the Fifties now. Substack column at elevenish for subscribers. It'll be fun!