You know, ma'am, there's this thing called shaving.

HUSBAND REVOLTED. We see now that she couldn't shave, because that would be too masculine. What man wants a woman who shaves? No! Pour turpentine down your legs and gently set it on fire.

You have prickers! Could be worse. This FBI report (pdf) says that Marie Cecil and her confederates were flat-out quack-peddlars; they also sold weight-loss pills that had ingredients like "nux vomica." The government got a fraud order against Marie Cecil in 1939, forbidding them to use the mails. The document says that in 1933 "A New England girl was severely burned after applying Solva-Roma to her face." So did they find the ancient Roman secret? Apparently so: Pompeii lava.