Grab the tongue depressor, Ma! Little Janey gots her a twitchin’ demon inside ‘a her agin!

Don’t worry, parents – it’s just Mother Goose played in the style of those loveable Liverpudlians, performed by The Golden Rock-A-Twisters. This record mystified me as a child; I had no idea what “slop” was, and “Ska” looked like some strange Norwegian curse.

That would be Georgie Porgie there, who has made 50 percent of the girls disappear, and will soon drive away the remaining half when claims he is more popular than Jesus.