It’s an exciting new opportunity for those strange products of atomic radiation, Men-Women: New Suede Paint! Your eyes do not deceive you; it’s really suede that goes on paint, and vice versa. The technical, scientific name is “Flok-Kraft,” and as the ad surely proves, it’s a luxurious new miracle that can be painted on shoes or turntables or toys or automobile interiors or pudding that’s been left so long in the fridge it’s lost that velvety appearance. Put it on velvet! Adds a luxurious shine to Velveeta!

Sure, we could sell you Flok-Kraft Suede Paint to use yourself – but what we really want to do is make you a millionaire. So instead of spending a lot of time and money building up an ad campaign for the stuff, we’re going to spend a lot of time and money convincing you to sell it to other people. How do we make the money? Please. Friends. This is our way of thanking not just you, but the world itself. The world that presents so many opportunities to get floked.