Life changed when everyone started wearing the salve. They didn’t know at first whether it was the ring or the salve; they only know that once the coupon was sent, everything changed. Pictures become poorly drawn. Houses sank into the ground. Young men forgot everything they knew about gun safety, and held their weapons with the barrel pointing up at their heads. People started to speak in a strange stilted style: Thanks, sis, this is a wonderful art picture that you’re giving me with this fine salve.”

GIVEN is the word that appears in many of the old ads; it was eclipsed by PRIZES after a while. It seems an odd word to emphasize now.