Great Scott! No, Greater Scott! Somehow a fiend – no, an arch-fiend – has lured the Caped Crusader and Reaction Boy to the Louvre, where Batman will be forced to paint his actual features before reporters! Once everyone knows that Batman is Bruce Wayne, the archfiend will be able to embark on a crime wave the likes of which the city has never seen!

Why? I mean, everyone finds out Bruce Wayne is Batman, and this somehow takes the air out of the Batmobile tires and makes all the stuff on his utility belt fall off? I think by this point any charges that could be brought against Batman would be laughed out of court, and it would make it easier for Bruce Wayne. He wouldn’t have to excuse himself from parties when he sees the Batsignal. He wouldn’t even have to stand by the window in case they flash the Batsignal. He could stand in the kitchen and chat and have a nice time, and if the Batsignal went up someone would come and get him. Bruce? Uh, your trademark has been projected against the clouds. Good thing the Joker only strikes on cloudy nights, huh? Otherwise you’d have to carry around a walkie-talkie. Although I suppose that wouldn’t be too much trouble.

It never occurs to Reaction Boy to just knock the palette out of Batman’s hands, does it. Useless little catamite.