No, a Hot Perkup is not what you get when you stuff Mary Tyler Moore into the range. It's what you make for the calorie-conscious Gals a little hot chicken juice. Or soup with a little booze.

Note the waistlines of these women - Did they keep their intestinal tracts in a hope chest for the day when they might be needed?

If you’re wondering what gives these drinks their 10 PM specialness, look at the Butter-cup recipe: “Serve in glasses.” It’s ingenious touches like this that really impress. And don’t forget the celery! Not a minute must pass without reminding us of the need to keep our weight down, thus keeping our mate aroused, thereby preserving our socio-economic status.

“Is this hearts or bridge? I’m too light-headed to tell. Anyway, did you hear about Madge? Seems she stopped sticking her finger down her throat to throw up. Mm-hmm, true. Said it ruined her manicure. Now she uses the handle of a Fuller Brush and she just swears by it.”