Three things will befall the Banana Salad Maker.

The secret to long life and happiness? According to the text above, the secret isn't eating salads, but serving them. As for the predictions, our yellow seer doesn’t exactly hit these out of the park. Two people have been granted fame by salads: Cobb, and Caesar.




Only if your name is Dole, and you invented the concept of charging two dollars for 12 ounces of pre-shredded iceberg lettuce.



No doubt - but just imagine you've paid a fortune teller a five-spot to discern your future. She puts her forefinger on her forehead, squints, rubs one hand over her crystal ball. The spirits are here, she says with a husky gypsy's voice, and the spirits tell me your arrangement of radicchio and shredded carrots will stimulate the glands that fill your mind with a sense of unmolested contentment.