Was that a can in your pocket, or were you just glad to siz me? But I’ll tell you this: there’s not a man alive who wouldn’t leap at the chance to deploy some Siz today. I mean, look at that thing. The colors. The shape. The name. No lighter run- off! Napalm with finger-tip control! It clings to each briquette and holds each coal in a clutch of fire. FLAMMABLE WHIPPED CREAM.

Would you not just pay anything to read the letters that got this pulled off the market. I imagine a "siz"able portion (sorry) involve hair. Me, I'm thinking the Fourth of July, a long line of expelled Siz studded with M-80s, and one match. You'd get a letter of commendation from General Westmoreland, and he lives seven states away.