Well, darling, I must say you're looking smashing today. Your short hair, your square jaw - why, the general trend towards unemployment, deindustrialization, and abolition of the male role as breadwinner seems to have brought out your most attractively mannish qualities. Which frees me up to express my own effete Leslie Howardish feminine aspects! Smashing! Let's celebrate by pretending this darkish slab of Jell-O is an expensive ham, shall we?