How to deal with a small space? Simple: jam every square inch with competing motifs, and let them fight it out. We recommend a rug that looks a 1993 video game texture, sofas made from the Swamp Thing’s hide, a dish of tasty yarn pastilles, and - on the occasional table - useless twin obelisks on a cheap plastic table. Don’t forget to waste a precious day of your mortal allotment by decoupaging a cheap plastic table, either.

The fear expressed by this room? Fear of untroubled slumber.