Guiding idea: A lot of bad art somehow adds up to one good piece of artwork, if you put it all on the same wall. Make sure to put the largest piece of art over the fireplace, making it look like a trademan's door for dwarves, or something John Cusack would take to enter the brain of John Malkovitch. And when you have a party, keep the lights low - just for the fun of watching people think the mirror is a doorway.

Right hand, top row: a Quaker amuses himself with one of those invisible-dog joke collars.