If you lived here, you’d be laid by now! If it was 1973, anyway. It all bespeaks a life of taste and wealth - the mezzanine with endless rows of books, the guitar to indicate your sensitive troubadour side, the TV sized just right for watching Kojak while you blow a number of primo Columbian (hey, Kojac may be The Man, but he’s solid) the TEAC reel-to-reel to show off your hip jazz tapes. Two questions, though: what’s with the empty two-story bookcase? Is that an emergency ladder in case your date catches fire and you have to make it downstairs FAST?

And what the hell is this? Why, it’s Shirley McClaine, and she’s brought some friends from the spirit world!