Practically speaking, you’ll want a phone booth in the chess room. You might want to make a call while contemplating a move. But why put the phone on a table where people can reach it from all angles, and walk around and talk? That’s hardly practical. No, you want to put the phone in a tight narrow enclosure so small that once you’re inside, you cannot turn around. Practical tip: put the chair on casters. Not only will this make an inherently unstable chair even more prone to violent upending, but it will make it possible to actually use the booth. It’s simple! When the phone rings, pull out the chair, sit down facing the chair, then have someone push you into the booth. Live alone? Don’t worry - just use a length of rope to pull yourself into the booth. Since the maneuvering takes some time, make sure all your friends know that you won’t answer on the first ten rings.

Or, better yet, be practical: schedule all your phone calls in advance!

Your move!