The Mentholatum twins. Neither possesses a nursing degree - and, in fact, charges were brought in 1951 for impersonating medical technicians. (It was dropped on the grounds that the defendants were fictional, and hence exempt from licensing conventions.) They were often seen as a small sprites attending the miracle of nasal decongestion, as well as alleviators of a condition they called "Smoker's Nose." Again, their boasts can be recalibrated to your desires. Not recommended for a web page that contains Kwik and Eezy; they all hate each other with a bitter resolve.