Attention all Ozarkians - put your hands in the air like you just don’t care! Cut a rug in our rugless Entertainment Hall, where every night buzz-cut white men show they’re not just confident of their deodorant's power - they’re Sure!

Put on your lamest hat and get ready for a night of slumping in our all-new game room! Don’t forget to try our Mystery Spot Pool Table, where balls seem to roll as though the room is oddly tilted. Every Tuesday night it’s half-price drinks, thanks to a generous settlement against the contractors who poured the foundation.