On behalf of curator Lukat D. Subteczct, welcome! Welcome to the Permanent Collection! On the shores of Lake Permalethe, the magnificent Museum stands for all the ages, built of the finest Tennessee marble, New Hampshire granite, and North Dakota asbestos. Designed by Ahmet Heljango, the Museum was built by a grant from R. "B." D. Johnson, bequeathed to the Institute, and charged with the following mission: “Whatever so shalt not fit anywhere else, dumpeth it here. So be it.” Man, he was hammered at the time. He got that way. Started talking like old Marvel Comic book characters. But soon the directors of the Institute figured out what he meant. The Institute of Official Cheer, after all, is devoted to thematic humiliation of the past. We group the errors and sins of previous eras into tight little bundles and reironize them for your protection. But not everything can be neatly tied up in a particular package. That’s where the Permanent Collection of Impermanent Art comes in. We welcome these castoffs, these foundlings, these one-of-a-kind achievements. This is where transient art from ads is gently separated from its commercial context and allowed to stand alone, as a work of individual expression. Teams of art historians, assembled and guided by Museum curator Lukat D. Subteczct (above), have examined and studied these works, teased the hidden meanings from their shiny surfaces. We bring them to you not as fluff and flotsam to regard and discard, but real art. Art you stand in front of and say “hmm.” Or “Fascinating.” Or “you can see the transgressive paradigm emerging, if only in a bi-cultural context of polysexual discursion.” Warning: if you say that here, we’ll shoot you. The guards are armed. The guards are looking forward to it, frankly. Pretension and tiresome commentary? That's our job. Now: choose your gallery, and start the tour. And as ever: we appreciate your patronage. J. Lileks February 2001