Finally, cheesecake. This is Lari Laine, a former "tire saleswoman on a local TV station." She concludes our glimpse into the uncomfortable sex fantasies of 1960: you can be dragged through the snow by women on skis, you can be trussed and borne aloft by angry sex slaves, you can be pressured into public snake dancing by wild club women, you can solve your needs with a vibra finger while drinking from a glass that contains a micturating little boy, you can get your body packed with he-man handsomeness before slipping on your soft flat groin pad, and then you can dream about a roll in the hay. Literally. It’s scratchy. It’s dusty. It gets everywhere.

Incidentally, that’s not a come-on expression. She has a muscular condition. Her jaw always hangs like that. When she eats she uses one hand to push the lower mandible up and down. It’s a little off-putting, but you’re used to it.

And what kind of a life is this? A man’s life, that’s what.

Just kidding about the muscular condition! She's still alive, and I wouldn't want her to sue me. I come not to bury Lani but to praise her. Ready?

The copy says she was 21 in 1960. Actually, she was 23; she was born May 13, 1937. Googling around, I discovered she was the Playmate of the Month for May 1958, which makes her appearance here a bit odd; it seems to reverse the usual trajectory. More odd facts: she's was married to George Sidney, director of Annie Get Your Gun, Show Boat, Kiss Me Kate, Anchors Away, Pal Joey, Bye Bye Birdie, and Viva Las Vegas. He died in 2002 in Vegas. But back to Lari: she also went by "Lani Laine," or "Corinne Cole," and she did movies and TV. Her first appearance was in "Ozzie and Harriet." Her last, in '71, was in "Cannon." God bless her, she was married to George Sidney right up until he died. Then again, she married him in 1990, when he was 74, and she was 53. One of those July-December romances.

This layout says she was known as "the boom-boom girl." No doubt.