As summer ends we conclude with a resort – and it seems to be a place that catered to people immensely tired of the kids, and pining for school. What do you want to do, Dad? Oh, just take me to the bar. Uh – take me to the Family Bar!

The name seems somewhat incomplete; it should be the Family Bar and Recreation Spot, or Recreation Place, or Recreation HellHole. Something.

It's still there. Last time we checked they were winless in softball. Gar died in 1999, an old man. Harry and Google have not yet met.

The back of the match makes little sense. Okay, the Queen of Hearts says to the King of Spades: “Have a Heart Big Boy Heart.”

Right. And she is appealing to his tender side, why? Because “I don’t want your diamond.” Translation: have pity on me; do not propose marriage.

Not a family message, but certainly a recreational one.