The number of extinct liquor brands may never be known. Every day I encounter more. Here we have Fortuna, Fernbrook, and Glencoe, all 100 proof, all bottled in bond. (That means it’s been sitting in a “bonded, ” or government sanctioned, facility for at least four years. The purpose, as I understand it, wasn’t to promote the aging of the hooch, but delay the taxes – the revenooers can’t tax it until it’s sold to distributors, so the liquor is kept in “bonded” storehouses. The term was probably your guarantee that the stuff wouldn’t make you fall down and convulse on the spot. Later, maybe, but all of life's a crap shoot, pal.

For all we know the three brands came from the same vat, and were distinguished primarily by label design and typeface selection. Traditionalists went with Fortuna; fans of all things Suthun went with Fern Brook, with its paddlewheel-showboat lettering; modernists went for Glencoe.

Which interchangeable whiskey are you?