Dick Fink's Arsenic Wafers! Don't worry, they're not habit-forming like all those other arsenic pastilles. Guaranteed to restore complexion, free up tired bowels, smother feminine disorders, banish gout, cure higgely-piggedlyness, and make your follicles so frickin' toxic the ivory handle of your hairbrush just melts away,

For all we know, this is the birth of bondage gear, right here. The ad copy sounds like something a Cenobite from the Hellraiser movies would say: O Kirstie, we want to reduce your flesh! It's hard to imagine anyone thinking this would work - although perhaps wearing rubber garments under your thick clothes in New York in the summer would help you shed that pesky water-weight. Warning: not guaranteed to come off. Ever.
Translation: you can't get it off with an icepick!