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Dick Fink's Arsenic Wafers! Don't worry, they're not habit-forming like all those other arsenic pastilles. Guaranteed to restore complexion, free up tired bowels, smother feminine disorders, banish gout, cure higgely-piggedlyness, and make your follicles so frickin' toxic the ivory handle of your hairbrush just melts away, |
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For all we know, this is the birth of bondage gear, right here. The ad copy sounds like something a Cenobite from the Hellraiser movies would say: O Kirstie, we want to reduce your flesh! It's hard to imagine anyone thinking this would work - although perhaps wearing rubber garments under your thick clothes in New York in the summer would help you shed that pesky water-weight. Warning: not guaranteed to come off. Ever. |
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Translaton: you can't get it off with an icepick! |
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