Examine the lass in the top middle; the copy is below, under "Drape Shape." The item is actually called the “Moves with you!” That's a relief; anyone who’s ever had their clothes run off in the opposite direction knows what a boon this is. On the left, an actual photo of a person, with the word “Wig! - That was the oft-rumored sequel to the musical “Hair!” To the right, another praying mantis in Demin-look Stretch-With-you Polyester. Please note that it is not actual denim, but denim-look, and it is a one piece outfit, and it is made from petrochemicals, and probably cannot be removed after a hot day without bathing the wearer in acetone.

The purple outfit is called “Nasty Lady,” and it’s what Elvira would wear to the altar if she married Prince. It has a “Gold” zipper. (Remember: quote marks are your “guarantee” of “quality.”) The cuffs are interesting, as they appear to have a 9:1 ratio with the diameter of the model’s knee – and are equal in diameter to her hips. Yes, we all remember the 70s, when guys would describe a woman’s figure in those very terms: 36-24-36-36.

The yellow item is demure – or not, depending on you. As the copy says: “Dots are nice or sometimes NAUGHTY!”

Naughty dots? In any case, it’s made of “Chavacette acetate knit,” which is a fashion industry term for “bonds to your flesh when ignited,” and comes with “pull on pants”. Apparently those anti-gravity rivets that made the garment rise on its own had not yet made it to the Frederick’s world yet.