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Books! BUY THEM
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COLUMNS: Tue / Thu / Sun
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JOE returns Ap. 6
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LILEKS.COM MAIN MENU
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IF SO INCLINED:
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THIS MONTH.
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 Finally true to my word – worked all night, Bleat be damned. I have only the following to relate. (Well, not only the following, but if I get started on any subject of the day’s events, I will write until 3 AM and accomplish nothing but prove once more I can write until 3 AM.) Today I wore a nice new green shirt. It’s very green – spring green, new-shoot green. Wore nice slacks and polished shoes, because I was dropping off stuff at the accountant’s office, and for some reason that still seems like a place where one should dress like an adult. (Airplanes, also. I still dress up for the airplane.) Afterwards Gnat and I went looking for some household goods, and she was a little imp. I had nothing to withhold; our next stop was the dentist’s, and I couldn’t say “behave, or it’s no dentist for you.” After the dental exam I treated her to hot chocolate at Starbucks. She slurped it.
"Don’t slurp it, honey."
It’s hot.
"Then let it cool. It’s rude to slurp. See, when we’re out in public it’s annoying to other people to hear you slurp."
But she continued to slurp. And she ingested so much air she let go with a big ripe round belch, which of course was hilarious.
"That’s bad manners. You don’t burp in public."
Sorry, Dad.
(slurp.)
"Don’t slurp. That’s why you burped, because you swallowed too much air."
(slurp)
"Natalie."
I’m going to burp again.
"No, you’re not. You –"
She blew a mouthful of hot chocolate all over my coat, my face, my glasses. And my new green shirt.
Daddy needs a vacation.
Hey! Happy Easter. See you Monday.
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