Warm, waterless, skeetery: this June is getting on people's nerves a bit. And that seems so ungrateful! Isn't this what you wanted? Strong sun and blue skies? Yes of course but now that I have it I would like to adjust the terms of the arrangement. Sorry! You wanted hot and blue, you got hot and blue.
The weather app says "light rain starting in 27 minutes," and then after 27 minutes it says "light rain starting in 49 minutes," and then ten minutes later it says nothing at all about light rain, and just stares at you with concern like you're going mad.
But - but it said there would be rain!
Bolla. You are not well. You must rest.
No, I swear to you, Gray-gorry, I saw it! Rain! It said there would be rain!
Bolla! You're becoming hysterical.
Now, you're thinking, isn't it Paula? Not Bolla? Are you gaslighting me about Gaslight? No; the way Charles Boyer said her name always sounded like "Bolla" to me. He actually said a strange European blending of B and P, but if you want to do a good Boyer, lay on the B.
Oh, don't thank me! It's just part of the public service I hope to do here daily. Like, read the internet!
Even the Chinese internet is dunking on 'white people food,' which people say made them realize how drab and dreadful life can be
Chinese blogs and social media are awash with people trying out "white people food," or veggie-heavy meals cobbled together with whatever's in the fridge.
"The point of the white people's meal is to learn what it feels like to be dead, but I've taken two bites and it was so bad it made me realize how alive I am," wrote one poster who tried a serving of plain crackers, cheese, and ham.
"Ah, the intoxicating white people's meal," wrote another sarcastically, posting a photo of sliced tomatoes and a banana.
Okay, I'm so sorry. I love the formulation: even the Chinese! I mean, we know it's bad because caucasity amirite, but news of its soulless infamy has reached Cathay! And they must be right, because, you know -
Here's my bold assersion: every culture has some delicious food. right? That's safe. And inclusive! Assertion #2: American food is the best, because it is the most diverse. And "white people," that undifferentiated mass of humanity, will eat it! White people in Fargo, which is as whitepeople as you can get, will eat it! I think this sentiment might work for the pale ectomorphic credentialed class of Western culture-castigators, because they get to look down on Fargo. But will they rise to defend the antiseptic purity of our Euro-betters?
Anyway. An ordinary day in every possible respect and I'm sure it shows here. Sorry!
So: another account of an internet peregrination, as we go . . .
How do we get from the here . . .
To there?
Like this:
Before there were YouTube videos, there were how-to booklets. Anyone can learn any new skill! All it takes is practice and the proper instruction. Yes, you too can. . .
I didn’t scan the interior, for some reason. It’s possible I only have the cover. (This is from a scanning batch from a while ago, and everything’s in deep storage now.) Perhaps the cover is the only interesting part, with its parade of Famous Baton Twirlers.
Frederick Fennell (July 2, 1914 – December 7, 2004) was an internationally recognized conductor and one of the primary figures in promoting the Eastman Wind Ensemble as a performing group. He was also influential as a band pedagogue, and greatly affected the field of music education in the US and abroad. In Fennell's New York Times obituary, colleague Jerry F. Junkin was quoted as saying "He was arguably the most famous band conductor since John Philip Sousa."
Phillip Burman, Twirling artist:
Helpful arrow shows you which way it goes. See? You're already learning!
Larry Hammond, a very serious twirling artist:
Teacher, too. Now imagine this guy was your shop teacher, or gym teacher, and then you saw him in this get-up.
Back to Ray in the group picture.
Phillip Burman. Turns out he was famous for . . . model plane box art.