People forget that Pepto-Bismol actually means something: the Bismol refers to the Bismuth that works its gastrointestinal magic, and Pepto, which was one of those advertising words that had a pseudo-scientific flavor in the early 20th century. (See also Pepsodent.)

This was Rexall’s gut-soother; the name put the Bismuth right up front, with the trusted, if truncated, Rexall name backing it up. I’m not sure how it gave you four ways of relief, though. 1: No more upset stomach. 2: No more fludgetz. 3: No more vomiting. After that, I’m stuck.

(Fludgetz is a Frobnian word for a common traveler’s condition.)