Communism! It’s two-ply thick, for extra softness.

At some point in the drama, our heroine, Wu Ching-hua – I’m using the spellings on the cards, so don’t ding me for that – arrives at the revolutionary base. She “cannot hold back her tears: ‘Red flag, or red flag, today I’ve found you at last.’” Later she becomes emotionally attached to a stop sign, and declares her undying love for a picture of a tomato.