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Day three on my oddy-knocky, no mom to help, and I have a column to write tonight. On what, Bog knows. Gnat is presently pacified by TV – too tired to do anything else, after today’s marathon sessions of cleaning and piano and phonics and puzzles and games (She beat me at Candyland, again. Twice.) We made caramel apples, had a running argument about whether her Barbie was dead or just in a deep sleep, had choir practice and went to Burger King. There was a tired mom supervising two little boys, using a discipline technique I haven’t recently enquired: disinterested humiliation. Justin! Stop squealin’ like a girl! And you two going to let a girl beat you to the top? Nice going, mom. Raise them boys.

Now I have to write, so I’ll leave you with some links.

Bikerfox! Bikerfox! BIKERFOX!

Sorry. He doesn’t hold anything back, does he? That’s 100 percent gen-u-wine BIKERFOX! That is NOT Carrot Top reformed as an Elvish suppository. It's BIKERFOX! (Courtesy, if that's the word, of the disturbing Screenhead.)


I'm starting to think "There'll always be an England" is less a reassurance than it once was.


Oooh, people are going to hate this 527 spot, which yanks the heartstrings like Quasimodo pulling bell-ropes on Easter. I’ll help ‘em out: SO WHAT? HITLER LOVED HIS DOG, and besides HE ORDERED THE EVENT AND CAN’T PRONOUNCE NUCLEAR! Right now George Soros is filming a response ad that has Michael Moore hugging one of his Upper West Side condo neighbors, who tragically lost a parking spot on 9/11.


This is the clip du jour – a rather unfair silent shot of John Edwards getting his hair done. I’ve been made up for TV a few times, although of course they had to spend less time on my hair, there being so very much less of it. Getting prepped for the harsh blare of TV lights is a peculiar experience, and you learn to sit still and think of England. So no, the clip isn’t particularly unusual.

Until he whips out – well, you’ll see. It’s like Captain Kirk whipping out his communicator to contact the USS Fabulous. Set phasers on stunning!


Finally, I make good on a promise. I swore there would be two updates to the Institute this year – Stagland, which is ongoing, and the Ice Capades site. The latter has two parts; here is the first. I have not polished the site, so excuse any typos or odd sentences. Tired, I am. See you tomorrow.

Incidentally, all the new updates for the rest of the year will be 70s themed.

Hmm. I wonder why.

.....